If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this; all those fairy tales are full of shit. One more fucking love song, I'll be sick.

sooooo i haven't posted in a while

with good reason ofc i started uni on the 25th september, so i had to move and i've barely had any time to myself tbh..i'm mostly enjoying it. i like the social side, my new friends etc. but the work is an absolute bitch. i have this lecturer who i'm in two minds about - she's a brilliant lecturer, really knows her stuff, keeps it interesting, but she can be sooooo scary and she sets really awkward, difficult tasks about things we don't know about

like one monday she told us to write a 1000 essay for the thursday on subjects we'd never done before. and she's never satisfied with what you've done. it's so fucking hard it pisses me off i even fucking dream about her!

on the down side uni has meant i've had barely any time to myself to sit down and write stories. so i don't know when fate lines will next be updated. but i'm trying to fit it all in.

Lyrics: payphone / maroon 5

I want love to forget that you offended me or how you defended me when everybody tore me down yeah and I want love to change my friends to enemies change my friends to enemies and show me how it's all my fault

i think it's warm outside? i can't be sure because i'm in all day now it's the holidays the only chance i have to actually experience true weather is when i go to work and then i'm always unpleasantly surprised by how warm it is considering i dress for winter when i'm having a lazy day

Lyrics: love interruption / jack white

Just put back the car keys or somebody's going to get hurt who are you calling at this hour sit down come round I need you now we'll work it all out together we're getting nowhere tonight now sleep I promise it'll all seem better somehow in time

i had my english literature exam this morning..it wasn't that bad it was probably the neatest exam script i've ever handed in though because i just decided to take my time with it not that it improved my answer any

then i got home and my brother left work early and suggested that we went to the cinema so we went to see abraham lincoln: vampire hunter which of course as a premise is utterly ridiculous, but it wasn't actually a bad film it was very entertaining and there were some good twists..plus i like dominic cooper and i thought that the guy playing abraham lincoln was kinda fit before he 'aged'

so it's actually been an all right day interesting but i'm tired now i still had to go to work unfortunately..

Lyrics: the moment i said it / imogen heap

And I keep looking for that blindfold faith lighting candles to a cynical saint who wants the last laugh at the fly trapped in the windowsill tape you can go right out of your mind trying to escape from the panicked paradox of day to day if you can't understand something then it's best to be afraid

it's my first day off work in agessss because i've got my english literature exam tomorrow (let's not talk about that) and i am so happy i'm just having a nice relaxed chilled out day i might write later i might not who knows the world is my oyster

down side is my brother and his wife are coming over later on..ysee she did a degree in graphic design and that's like her dream job and she's struggled getting proper jobs in it she finally got one but they won't offer her a pay rise and she went to wales to see a friend the other week and they saw a job being advertised in pembroke and she applied for it and got the job so chances are they'll be moving to pembrokeshire fairly soon which is weird but not that bad for me because i'll be an hour and a half away from them when i go to uni

but basically they're coming over to 'discuss it with us' and my other brother and my father aren't happy about the idea of them moving at all i can't help but feel like they wouldn't be so bothered if i wasn't going to uni this year as well, it's like in one go two of his children / siblings are moving away..i kind of get it but they've talked about moving to somewhere quieter before, it's been their goal to start a family somewhere nicer..oh i don't know i'm just not as bothered about it as i could be basically because in the end i'll be nearer to them..and i quite like the idea of having them closer

Lyrics: classic cars / bright eyes

Maybe I'll write him a story and maybe I'll fall asleep in his arms maybe I'll wake up lonely and fallen away again until you calm me down I'll race around this town

got paid today i was soooo happy all the extra time last week means i got paid more and i forgot about another extra day i did because i got paid more than i thought i would so i am ecstatic! gonna buy that pair of shoes i had my eye on and i'm going shopping with my mother tomorrow

i was supposed to be going shopping with her today but it's throwing it down and i cba going out and getting soaked just to buy some hair dye

Lyrics: tap at my window / laura marling

I want to be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed and every excuse I made up tell you the truth what didn't kill me it didn't make me stronger at all

sorry i haven't updated 'star rising' in a while, my classics exams were on tuesday and thursday and i've pretty much been revising since then what with work and everything i haven't had the energy motivation or clarity of mind to actually sit down and write a story because whenever i tried the attempts have been shit

but now classics is done i'm not struggling as much with other subjects so i might have time to write more often

Lyrics: drunk / ed sheeran

I am a dash and you are a dot when will you see that I am all that you've got I'm a binary code that you cracked long ago but to you I'm just a novel that you wish you'd never wrote

so tired :( an extra hour is a nightmare plus the floors i was doing were bigger than mine, more bins etc and i had an allergic reaction to some mould on a bin and i had to put some cream on it and then this werid guy on one of the floors was trying to get me to put some coffee on it and i was like, no why would i, and then my supervisor came over and with the allergy cream it's gone down now thankfully

one of my piercings is really badly infected there's like a boil on it and it's not pretty i'm going to see the doctor and pray he doesn't tell me to take out the piercing..and i'm really hungry so tbh i'm not in the best of moods right now

Lyrics: academia / sia

And when he saw her raised for the slaughter Abraham's daughter raised her bow how darest you child defy your father you better let young Isaac go

finished suetonius before if i can be bothered i'll start copying up my notes later but i'm in work earlier today because i'm covering someone elses shift..not looking forward to it lmao i've had such a long and pleasant weekend it'll be a shame to have to finish it cleaning toilets

Lyrics: abraham's daughter / arcade fire

She said don't don't let it go to your head boys like you are dime a dozen boys like you are dime a dozen she said you're a touch overrated you're a lush and I hate it but these grass stains on my knees they won't mean a thing

i am so looking forward to tomorrow

i get a lie in and then i'm going to finish my english notes as i watch bleach which i've already seen before so it doesn't matter if i don't watch it properly

but it's the english dubbed version which normally i don't like because they go for such cheesy american voices but that can be hilarious sometimes so that's all right just hope they don't dub the theme tune because that'd ruin it for me

then i'm going to work and that's a bit crap but what can i do

Lyrics: you're so last summer / taking back sunday

Elegant clothes you want to be seen with her under your tweeds you sweat like a teenager begging you to sit for a portrait on the wall to hang in the dark of some parliamentary hall

yknow that list of things to do i made before?

yeah i didn't do any of it

i'm too lazy for my own good

now i'm off to work cba

Lyrics: ottoman / vampire weekend

So maybe I do not have the time fair weather friends of mine a year's a long time to be doing nothing with your life

today was my day off

i didn't do anything all day but play around on pottermore, i forgot how much i lovelovelove harry potter tbh. i can't wait for this weekend now i just want to see it all

btw i'm a ravenclaw, my wand is alder with a unicorn hair core, 12 and 1/4 inches, springy and i'm shit at making potions but what can you do?

now i'm waiting to watch the great british menu before bed, i'm so tired because i worked extra hard at work today to make sure everything was in tip top shape for the inspection tomorrow that probably won't happen because our supervisor is terrible at her job and can't clean for shit

Lyrics: our bovine public / the cribs

She said I love you boy I love you so she said I love you baby oh oh oh oh she said I love you more than words can say she said I love you baby

the last day started a lot earlier because we had to be out of the hotel by half seven..i found ants on the bathroom floor which was disgusting they were all over the balcony too and it was horrible so i was glad it was the last night

hardly anyone ate breakfast because they'd all reached that point where they thought 'there's no point anymore i'm going home'

we kind of offended the hotel because no one wanted to take their packed lunches and the manager like chased us with them so we had to take them but everyone threw them away at the airport

we had a delay so we sat around for a while before we could check in. security was easier in naples but it was also more strict like more people were searched than back home

the departure lounge was nicer, it was actually quite posh but more expensive than at home me and H bought chocolate and iced tea and crisps and we agreed to sit next to each other on the plane because i needed someone to distract me

the flight was nicer, more turbulance but it went by faster i slept for a bit then me and H played a game where it was like colin firth or hugh grant (colin firth, if you're interested) and that took up the rest of the flight in between eating junk food and discussing T's bad mood

then we were back in england..the landing was much better than the first one and our college actually applauded and you could see the other people on the plain going 'wtf why are they applauding??' which was odd considering a lot of the people on the plane had flown with us on the first flight too

first thing i ate in england was a bacon sandwich and i was just kind of glad to be at home with my family again, now i kind of miss italy because at least in italy i didn't have to go to work or college haha

Lyrics: she said / plan b

No girl who's in my little red book just ever could replace your love and each girl in my little red book knows you're the one I'm thinking of

i'm just going to go and buy things i got paid today so why the hell not i need treating for getting a b in that english lit exam i was sure i was going to fail

i mean i'm resitting it anyway which will mean rereading frankenstein which makes me feel sick but needs must i suppose

Lyrics: my little red book / love

Flicking through a little book of sex tips remember when the boys were all electric

It's been a looooong day, tbh not really looking forward to tomorrow either..but what's new? It's more that tomorrow has 2 hour & a half lessons which just drag especially classics which is dry on the best of days but my friend in that class isn't in tomorrow

So I'm on my own with kind of friends and people I never talk to some of whom are complete jerks to be quite honest

Some are all right, others are lovely..there's one person I can talk to in that class but sometimes it's a bit awkward because he likes me likes me and I don't feel the same way..and sometimes his mates can make it a bit awkward because they know that's how he feels

And my friends think that I feel the same way but I don't at all I think he's a nice guy but he's not my type, we have a different sense of humour, he's a science nerd and I'm a literature history geek, I like men to be men but he's a little effeminate

It wouldn't work basically it's like Sophie choosing Ashley or something

Lyrics: fluorescent adolescent / arctic monkeys

Old teenage hopes alive at your door left you with nothing but they want some more

My prediction: work will be ridiculously hot today because the security guard likes to have the heating on full

Not so bad in the winter but as its kind of mild today it will not be pleasant

Lyrics: 1234 / feist

After all those years gone by I only want to find a way to make it hard for you

One of the most boring things I can do at work is clean under the hand dryers it's a lot of effort

The bleach takes so long to slide down the wall too

Lyrics: love me like you / the magic numbers

It's a touchy subject and I like to tiptoe round the shit going down

There's a man who works at the same place as me and it's dead awkward when I'm on my own with him I'm sure he's nice and everything but we just can't speak to each other haha we act like the other isn't there

Lyrics: pack up / Eliza Doolittle

I'm your only friend I'm not your only friend but I'm a little glowing friend but really I'm not actually your friend but I am

watching the chase with my brother have not kept up with what's going on haha

i've got work in like half an hour and i cba with it because i hate how the toilets smell and how creepy the office is when everyone has gone home but i also hate it when people are still there because they give me funny looks and play terrible music really loud and i feel bad for using my hoover even though i shouldn't because it's my job

and to make things worse some of the men have taped feathers off my duster onto their computer screens which is not normal in the slightest..

Lyrics: birdhouse in your soul / they might be giants

Her boyfriend he don't know anything about her he's too stoned Nintendo I wish that I could make her see

i forgot how mind numbingly boring and robotic work is these days hahaha i've been there too long i don't even have to think about it anymore everything is automatic it's so strange i remember the first day i started and i didn't even know where anything was, like the bins i'd miss bins out but now i know the exact position of each bin, i know which ones are likely to be really filled and which ones aren't haha which is so sad i know

Lyrics: flavour of the weak / american hifi

I still hold your hand in mine in mine while you're asleep

I tried to stop my tights from laddering further so now I have nail varnish on my legs :(

Today should be boring two hour and a half lessons in a row, and English coursework. Then cleaning

I wish that college was easier.

Lyrics: goodbye my lover / James blunt