Say a prayer to yourself he says close your eyes sometimes it helps and then I get a scary thought that he's here means he's never lost

probably should be revising for english language but i can't make myself do it..right now playing harvest moon is much more interesting i mean i got a chick yesterday and i've got tomatoes to water yknow

i've finished chapter 20 of 'star rising' but fictionpress isn't letting me log in sorry

Lyrics: russian roulette / rihanna

I am an arrow with no direction my life your tarot my picture your fate I'm your becoming so I'll always be nothing if I ever break away from you that day forth you'll be living my hate

haha my exam is tomorrow and i cannot revise anymore because it isn't going in and it doesn't make sense and tbh i can't be bothered in this weather it is too hot my mind feels like a mush and my legs have died, i'll just have to wait and see what the question is and not think about it i just need to r e l a x

Lyrics: useless / imogen heap

So many lies swirling all around you you're suffocating the empty shape in you steals your breath you're suffocating

ahahaha i'm so going to fail my greek tragedy exam you have no idea i know like 5 quotes and they're all from oedipus

no i tell a lie i know some from medea and hippolytus but thank god that they do options of questions because if i could only do antigone i would be fuckedddd

Lyrics: breathe today / flyleaf

All I want is a room with a view a sight worth seeing a vision of you all I want is a room with a view I will give you my finest hour the one I spent watching you shower I will give you my finest hour

i feel ridiculously stressed at the moment unless i only think about roman emperors and greek tragedy if i don't just think about that i feel ridiculously guilty about things i am so glad that my exams are next week so that i don't have to think about them anymore

Lyrics: picture this / blondie

So lately been wondering who will be there to take my place when I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face if a great wave shall fall it would fall upon us all and between the sand and stone could you make it on your own

tomorrow is my day off and i can finally finish my notes on the emperors and just read them and read them and read them and read them until my exam which is next thursday and i don't know if i can pass haha my first classics exam is on the tuesday but i'm less bothered about it because it's the greek mythology bit and i understand literature much better

but we'll see i suppose

Lyrics: wherever you will go / the calling

I'm tired of waiting I'm tired of thinking and it feels like jealousy and it feels like I can't breathe and I'm on down on my knees and it feels like jealousy

had another lazy day today i woke up late sorted out the excess of clothes in my wardrobe watched some TV with my dad whilst i worked on my classics notes, then i had a lie down before a really hot bath listening to soothy music..it's been really chilled out and now i'm watching 'monk' with my mum as i write the next chapter of 'star rising'

ahhhh happy

Lyrics: jealousy / will young

And that's the way it is in Minnesota and that's the way it is in Oklahoma that's the way Aristophanes and Homer wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata

decided on making some notes with the record cards i bought from staples the other day they're in four seperate colours so i'm going to split the colours into two sets like pink and blue for claudius and green and yellow for tiberius, and within that like pink is for provinces/frontiers/senate and blue is wives/freedmen/children/personality etc.

because those notes need to be done before my exam lmao which is like 2 weeks away oh dear

Lyrics: shores of california / the dresden dolls

And when he saw her raised for the slaughter Abraham's daughter raised her bow how darest you child defy your father you better let young Isaac go

finished suetonius before if i can be bothered i'll start copying up my notes later but i'm in work earlier today because i'm covering someone elses shift..not looking forward to it lmao i've had such a long and pleasant weekend it'll be a shame to have to finish it cleaning toilets

Lyrics: abraham's daughter / arcade fire

Your subtleties they strangle me I can't explain myself at all and all the wants and all the needs all I don't want to need at all the walls start breathing my mind's unweaving maybe it's best you leave me alone a weight is lifted on this evening I give the final blow

had my hair cut today

it's a little shorter than i had it last time my intention was to grow it because i miss having long hair but tbh the minute it grows past a certain length it just irritates the hell out of me therefore i have it cut again

so my dreams of having jessie j hair are too distant to even think about..who knows though, maybe one day?

i also bought some hair dye it's like a gingery brown colour it's not too dissimiliar to my natural colour but it's more ginger, hopefully it should work..now i'm just sitting around because my brother and sister in law are coming over tonight i've just done today's reading of suetonius/tacitus and it was about messalina who was a complete bitch

just saying

Lyrics: it ends tonight / all american rejects

And I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away it's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me you you you oughta know

i know this sounds crazy but i'm probably going to actually read tacitus and suetonius when i've finished college..when i read the prescribed sections i find myself reading on and looking in the index for people they refer to just to find out what happens to them next so i figure it would make sense to just read the whol thing and enhance my knowledge on the subject

of course it will come about a month too late considering my exam is at the end of may and i finish for college at the end of june, but i'll do it for me haha.

besides some of the stories are really interesting, as a rule i'm generally more interested in the mythology or greek side of classics but the romans were just so messed up that their personal lives were fascinating with so many twists and turns..i can see why it makes a good tv show or a good novel you know because some of it sounds like it shouldn't be real..but it is

i just wish that things like provinces and frontiers and the senate and stuff like that weren't involved in the exam because i'd be fine haha

Lyrics: you oughta know / alanis morissette

You've made me acknowledge the devil in me I hope to god I'm talking metaphorically hope that I'm talking allegorically know that I'm talking about the way I feel and I've never known a girl like you before

today has been incredibly long but on the plus side i've done all of my reading on tiberius..now i just need to read all the stuff on claudius, and then i can start making notes..

all it has taught me is that the romans were right bastards when they wanted to be tbh because i was easily distracted by some of the little stories that tacitus is so fond of telling that have nothing to do with tiberius or claudius but some mad parthian tribesmen who kill their wives so they can't be captured or something like that so i ended up reading some of the more horrifying examples of how not to expand your empire

Lyrics: a girl like you / edwyn collins

Your vision is right my vision is wrong I'm sorry for smudging the air with my song

i've decided to forget about writing notes for the moment and i'm instead reading through the books again until it actually makes sense

it's helping a little, i understand some of it more like motives and what people actually did..like, i knew that sejanus was a bastard but i didn't know why until i read the sections on him properly

that said tacitus is easily one of the driest things i've ever read but is still more exciting than frankenstein which is always a good thing

Lyrics: a singer must die / leonard cohen

The fire fades away most of every day is full of tired excuses but it's too hard to say I wish it were simple but we give up easily you're close enough to see that you're the other side of the world to me

ugh making classics notes is so boring :( i'm not even sure i'm doing it right i'm reading the sections that the teacher said i had to and taking quotes down i hope that's enough..it's going in, which is good haha

so far i've done postumus' death, and germanicus (success, recall to rome, egypt, death) and i'm about to do the provinces and frontiers. i'm only using tacitus atm, i've not even moved on to suetonius yet but to be fair there is less to read for suetonius

i'm going to keep on doing the notes for periods of 20 minutes, then take a 10 minute break which i'm on now..hopefully i'll have some form of notes to revise from within the next week or so

Lyrics: other side of the world / kt tunstall

The looking glass so shiny and new how quickly the glamour fades I start spinning slipping out of time was that the wrong pill to take

spent all morning sticking post it notes with english language definitions on them so my thumbs are as sore as fuck haha

but never mind at least i have the phrase 'periphrastic do' stuck to my bedroom wall now..

i'm just having a little break before i start making some classics notes..again

Lyrics: rabbit heart (raise it up) / florence and the machine

So I'll admit that it all started as a scam because every girl wanted you and a year round tan we know you're old but you're kind you're rich and your heart is dicky yes I knew that you wanted me

i am so sick of college. i've basically done all of my coursework for literature and language but i went over the word limit for my literature thematic comparison by over 700 words and now i have to edit out those 700 words

i've cut it down to 450 but that's still way too much i need to reduce it to 2000..fuck i don't even know and i haven't even started to revise classics properly it's such a nightmare not happy :(

Lyrics: nice guy eddie / sleeper

But I'll get by without your smile I'll get through without you but I wish it was me you chose I wish it was me you chose

done my english notes, plan on carrying on with the next chapter of 'star rising' in a minute

i just had the fittest lunch ever it was a baked potato with gouda mmmm

Lyrics: elvis ain't dead / scouting for girls

She said don't don't let it go to your head boys like you are dime a dozen boys like you are dime a dozen she said you're a touch overrated you're a lush and I hate it but these grass stains on my knees they won't mean a thing

i am so looking forward to tomorrow

i get a lie in and then i'm going to finish my english notes as i watch bleach which i've already seen before so it doesn't matter if i don't watch it properly

but it's the english dubbed version which normally i don't like because they go for such cheesy american voices but that can be hilarious sometimes so that's all right just hope they don't dub the theme tune because that'd ruin it for me

then i'm going to work and that's a bit crap but what can i do

Lyrics: you're so last summer / taking back sunday

If I could turn back the hands of time I swear I never would have crossed that line I should have kept it between us but no I went and told the whole world how I feel

actually sat down and made some revision cards for english language haha

Lyrics: nobody's perfect / jessie j

If I am a clock then you are the time I'm patiently waiting and you're out of line and I'll be the question if you'll be the answer

i did my lit exam. it wasn't so bad. i think i did all right on the first question, which was something along the lines of 'to what extend do you agree that mephistopheles is a bewitching fiend'. the second one, about the gothic being about the consequences of the disruption of the natural order, was a little more evil haha.

just so glad it's over though. now i'm all out revising for other classes already haha and the exams are in june

Lyrics: not a second to waste / rocket to the moon

So she sits all day by the looking glass oh it doesn't talk it doesn't last

Chapter 7 is up

I cba revising anymore I think I'm going to fail anyway and I'm not going to remember the quotes so I thought hey I'll write instead

Off to start chapter 8 now :)

Lyrics: shoot the poets / the cribs