You've got me standing in an awkward position, with unwanted attention and a need for explanations and, it's not that I'm letting go of you, but I don't know what to do

i'm going shopping tomorrow with my best friends we were supposed to be buying uni shit but we all went out and bought it separately so we're just kind of going shopping but it's okay i want to buy the sims 3 supernatural (eeeee!) and the hunger games dvd and i might unnecessarily buy some clothes too even though i don't need any new ones and i might buy a book and some high heels because i literally have nothing else i need to spend this money on

so i'm going to come home tomorrow with a hoard of crap :)

Lyrics: skeleton song / kate nash

Cecelia, you're breaking my heart, you're shaking my confidence daily; oh, Cecelia, I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you please to come home

to the girl on my facebook who claims that disco pants go with everything..

yeah, everything except my thighs.

that is all.

Lyrics: cecelia / simon & garfunkel

Some men crave women and some men crave gold some folks die too young and some die too old some just want to pass time with liquor and cards some work to the top and then some don't get far boy decide boy decide you're too old to fuck around and too young to die time to try life on for size

i've been discussing the trip to edinburgh i'm taking in july because i don't know what clothes to take :( not good i found out i get paid this friday and that's the last payday before we go to edinburgh it's so unfortunate

gah i don't know what to takeee

Lyrics: boy decide / murder by death

I did my best it wasn't much I couldn't feel so I tried to touch I've told the truth I didn't come to fool you and even though it all went wrong I'll stand before the lord of song with nothing on my tongue but hallelujah

my new shoes :D i'm really pleased with them! they looked lovely on the website but nicer in person and they look good on i'm really happy pleased i bought them

bought from asos.com, costing £18 with free super saver delivery if anyone is wondering

Lyrics: hallelujah / leonard cohen



How you see me how you see me you say that you can see me but I can't see you looking anymore how you know me how you know me you saying that you know me but I don't see us talking anymore

i went to that fancy dress party last night i went as a crap / slightly slutty audrey hepburn..it wasn't as bad as i was expecting i did end up sat on my own for a while but i didn't really mind i had three pints of cider and enjoyed watching everybody else making a tit of themselves on the dancefloor

i was pretty drunk by the time i got home though i tried to climb the stairs like they were a mountain and my mum had to put me to bed i can't really handle alcohol

and today i went out for a meal with my family because it's father's day and we went shopping as well i bought a couple of necklaces a cardigan some earrings..i also went shopping with my mother yesterday and bought a few things it's been a good weekend basically

Lyrics: open up your arms / ren harvieu

Shiny floor slippery feet lights are dim my eyes can't meet the reflection that turns my images upside down so I can't see think you know everything you really don't know nothing I wish that you were more intelligent so you could see that what you are doing is so shitty to me

why would your wear your mother's wedding dress to a party? why? i don't get some people there's being fun and quirky and then there's wearing your mother's wedding dress

Lyrics: dickhead / kate nash

Without girls like you there's no nightlife all those men just go home to their wives don't be mad at me because you're pushing thirty and your old tricks no longer work you should have known from the jump that you always get dumped so dust off your fuck me pumps

i want the azerbaijan entry's dress it's so cool

Lyrics: fuck me pumps / amy winehouse

I'm tired of waiting I'm tired of thinking and it feels like jealousy and it feels like I can't breathe and I'm on down on my knees and it feels like jealousy

had another lazy day today i woke up late sorted out the excess of clothes in my wardrobe watched some TV with my dad whilst i worked on my classics notes, then i had a lie down before a really hot bath listening to soothy music..it's been really chilled out and now i'm watching 'monk' with my mum as i write the next chapter of 'star rising'

ahhhh happy

Lyrics: jealousy / will young

You got a fast car and I want a ticket to anywhere maybe we can make a deal maybe together we can get somewhere anyplace is better starting from zero got nothing to lose maybe we'll make something but me myself I got nothing to prove

like i don't understand the process that leads to people thinking that they're so hideous that they cannot look at themselves in the mirror without feeling like crying?

maybe (and it probably is) just personality difference here but i don't let things like that get in my way of being happy. i mean people have said some shit things about me before, things that i quickly got used to. i've been told i'm too fat, too ugly, too manly, too tall, too geeky, too weird, too clever. i've been told my skin is bad (like i needed telling) and my eyebrows need waxing (again, like i don't own a fucking mirror). i've also been told that the way i wear my hair makes me look like a lesbian..like a lesbian is a bad thing to be anyway.

but i've never let it get to me because i don't necessarily agree with it..not wanting to sound like a cow but whilst i'm a little overweight i'm definitely not fat and i'll never agree that i am; i'm certainly not ugly even if i'm not scarlett johansson, i don't require a paper bag to go out in public; i can look a little manly on occasion but, hey, my boobs are definitely big enough to end any confusion; i'm average height and actually wish i was a bit taller; and i plead guilty to geeky/clever because that's not a bad thing to be either.

the fact is, when i look in the mirror i don't recoil in horror because i don't let what these people say to me get to me. i'm a big enough person to acknowledge my failings but i can also acknowledge my good points. modesty is fantastic - no one likes a boaster after all - but if i've got it i might as well flaunt it.

i mean, i'm not gorgeous. i'm pretty average. but i like myself and i think that's something to be proud of if i'm honest because so many women just aren't these days and it's horrible to think about. it just makes me sad that girls take these things to heart and take it so seriously when in actual fact the people that say these things don't matter in your life and therefore what they think shouldn't matter..i know it's easy to say and trust me i have been upset by the things that people say more than you know but all it did was confirm my belief that the way to carry on is say fuck you, accept your flaws, accept your strengths, and be who you want to be

meanwhile i'm off to eat a kitkat because life is too short to diet and that's what i honestly believe

Lyrics: fast car / tracy chapman

Don't you ever don't you ever stop being dandy show me that you're handsome

Imma go shopping tomorrow and buy a present for mothers day and a dress for a party and maybe some other things too, I'll be all on my ownsome but I don't care sometimes I like to shop on my own

Lyrics: prince charming / Adam and the ants

You are the hole in my head you are the space in my bed you are the silence in between what I thought and what I said

today has actually been really busy i went shopping with my mother and blew almost my entire wage on clothes for Pompeii and on random jewellery as usual hahaha

i'm exhausted now though..i was up too early and out too long, just relaxing now and waiting for food :)

Lyrics: no light, no light / florence + the machine

Some say I'll be better without you but they don't know you like I do or at least the sides I thought I knew

i've got like 3 weeks before i go to pompeii

it's weird :(

there's like a proper rush on to buy things and pack lmao and that decision, hand or hold luggage? big decisions

Lyrics: he won't go / adele

Bleaching your teeth smiling flash talking trash under your breath bleaching your teeth smiling flash talking trash under my window

day off today and i'm sat around waiting for a package to arrive that i missed everyday last week i think that it's my dress and boots hopefully or it might be the book i need for coursework

i'm hoping for the dress and boots if i'm honest..

Lyrics: anthems for a 17 year old girl / broken social scene

You insist on teaching me what I already know absence made this heart grow fonder

Got paid on Friday and it's already gone :(

Oh and I'm excited because whitechapel starts again soon although the storyline horrifies me somewhat

Lyrics: kill! Kill! Kill! / the pierces

So we struggle and we stagger down the snakes and up the ladder to the tower where the blessed hours chime

it's payday so i just bought myself some boots and a dress. once the money has gone out of my account i'm gonna put some away for pompeii and the rest will probs go on jewellery which makes me happy.

my brother's car broke down today right outside college and that was a bit awkward. an hour of sitting in the freezing cold knowing that a warm welcoming cafe was only metres away haha but not being able to leave your brother who would be classed as an 'intruder' on campus because he isn't a student or staff lol but then the aa came and replaced his battery and we went home

also missed a lesson this morning because it was like mcdonalds breakfast or an hour of english language and to be honest a bacon sandwich won on this occasion

i need my bed now.

Lyrics: closing time / leonard cohen

I still hold your hand in mine in mine while you're asleep

I tried to stop my tights from laddering further so now I have nail varnish on my legs :(

Today should be boring two hour and a half lessons in a row, and English coursework. Then cleaning

I wish that college was easier.

Lyrics: goodbye my lover / James blunt

Someone call a doctor need some help to rescue me one second I'm thinking I must be lost and he keeps on finding me

Dollydagger Boutique - Hannah Makes Things - Punky Allsorts - Lazy Oaf - Collectif - ShanaLogic

Lyrics: that man / caro emerald

And the tape in the cassette deck was choking spat out a broken hallelujah

these would make me sooooo happy

i really need to stop internet shopping when i should be revising lmao

but i want these sooooooo bad! i love heels and red shoes and especially shiny ones. what's £46 anyway haha

see i've been googling sites like dollydagger.co.uk which is one of my fave sites ever and i've found some pretty cool ones, admittedly expensive but i only go on them to browse most of the time, i don't get paid that much haha

so glad that it's weekend i need my sleep lol

i'm gonna post these websites in another post because i want them to be somewhere i can get hold of them easily so yeah

and can i just say that i love emmy the great? bought her first album on a whim and it came last night can't stop listening to it i love her lyrics

Lyrics: first love / emmy the great

Honey I heard you like the bad girls is that true

What possessed me to wear a jumper to work? It's far too hotttt

Lyrics: video games / lana del rey