See the structure of my pride, wasn't easy to build it away from this; I never walked away from you, I never walked alone.

today i woke up at 12, continued writing some of my essay for classical literature...and then after that i honestly can't tell you what i've done with my day apart from sitting in my room on my laptop listening to music...fun times :)

Lyrics: purify / lacuna coil

Because they've got years of experience we're living in a den of thieves rummaging for answers in the pages we're living in a den of thieves and it's contagious and it's contagious

so my brother and sister in law are moving to wales in september and they decided to have a leaving get together as i only turned 18 in december it was my first time going out in town and they said i could bring a friend with me

we went to this bar first that was very loud and mainly played britpop music it was all right i just sat there talking with my friend

the second bar played like 40s and 50s and 60s music and everyone was doing this mad funny dancing and they gave out free sweets and the toilets like had philosophical crap scrawled all over them i preferred it so much more to the first club

but the problem was more my brother's friends there's this one that i've known for years and he wanted to me to dance and i didn't want to and neither did my friends and they pestered us for a while and it wound me up and i'd been in a bad mood all day so i got upset but once they stopped it was fine

although the other guy, his friend, wouldn't drop it with my friend but hey persistence paid off he left with her number hahaha

Lyrics: us / regina spektor

Say it ain't so I will not go turn the lights off carry me home keep your head still I'll be your thrill the night will go on my little windmill

right now i'm watching the eurovision song contest getting behind the hump ;) to be honest we'll probably come in last place or something shit like that although having seen what some of the other acts have to offer we should at least come in 10th or something

i kind of want to go to azerbaijan but that said i know next to nothing about the country except is shares a border with russia and a border with iran and..yknow i don't know i'll never go there it just i like some of the videos that they put in between acts because they make the country look so beautiful

Lyrics: all the small things / blink 182

I'm tired of waiting I'm tired of thinking and it feels like jealousy and it feels like I can't breathe and I'm on down on my knees and it feels like jealousy

had another lazy day today i woke up late sorted out the excess of clothes in my wardrobe watched some TV with my dad whilst i worked on my classics notes, then i had a lie down before a really hot bath listening to soothy music..it's been really chilled out and now i'm watching 'monk' with my mum as i write the next chapter of 'star rising'

ahhhh happy

Lyrics: jealousy / will young

I see you driving round town with the girl I love and I'm like fuck you I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough I'm like fuck you and fuck her too

"Swearing is a really important part of one's life. It would be impossible to imagine going through life without swearing and without enjoying swearing... There used to be mad, silly, prissy people who used to say swearing was a sign of a poor vocabulary - such utter nonsense. The people I know who swear the most tend to have the widest vocabularies and the kind of person who says swearing is a sign of a poor vocabulary usually have a pretty poor vocabulary themselves... The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or a lack of verbal interest is just a fucking lunatic...I haven't met anybody who's truly shocked at swearing, really, they're only shocked on behalf of other people. Well, you know, that's preposterous... or they say 'it's not necessary'. As if that should stop one doing it! It's not necessary to have coloured socks, it's not necessary for this cushion to be here, but is anyone going to write in and say 'I was shocked to see that cushion there, it really wasn't necessary'? No, things not being necessary is what makes life interesting - the little extras in life." - Stephen Fry

and can i just say that the song that makes the title does not work in the radio edit when it's forget you - it doesn't work the same the anger isn't there the sentiment is absent fuck you is just the better way of putting it

Lyrics: fuck you / cee lo green

I knew that maybe someday I would understand trying to change a tenner to a hundred grand everyone's a kid that no one cares about you just got to keep screaming till they hear you out

Lyrics: written in the stars / tinie tempah ft. eric turner

Let's go to the movies I will hum you a song about nothing at all let's go to the movies I will sing you a song about nothing at all let's go to the movies let's go to the movies

Lyrics: loveology / regina spektor

One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's all right and by then I'm sure I'll be pretending just like I am tonight please don't get me wrong because I'll never let this go but I can't find the words to tell you I don't want to be alone but now I feel like I don't know you

oo

Lyrics: never let this go / paramore

A long night spent with your most obvious weakness you start shaking at the thought you are everything I want because you are everything I'm not

i remember when i used to think that gerard way was one of the prettiest men i had ever seen like i thought he was beautiful..i still do in a way but he doesn't appeal to me as much anymore

synyster gates on the other hand? oo

Lyrics: makedamnsure / taking back sunday

You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way you know the lies I tell when you've gone through hell and I say I can't stay you know how hard it can be to keep believing in me when everything and everyone becomes my enemy

Lyrics: opheliac / emilie autumn

Chorus romance says goodnight close your eyes and I'll close mine remember you remember me hurt the first the last between

Lyrics: so i thought / flyleaf

Who by his lady's command who by his own hand who in mortal chains who in power and who should I say is calling

my dad's advice for uni?

'don't read kafka's diaries and listen to leonard cohen at the same time, you'll only depress yourself'

okay dad

this is like the time he told me,

'don't drop acid and listen to black sabbath, listen to something jolly like stackridge'

i love that other parents advice would just be 'don't drop acid' hahahaha

Lyrics: who by fire / leonard cohen

Because it's harder than we first thought I believe I believe you're the antidote I believe I believe you're the antidote if there's an answer out there it deserves to be caught I believe I believe you're the antidote

i can't wait for the voice tonight

i kind of got a bit obsessed with it i prefer it so much to shows like the x factor it's a nicer vibe and nicer judges plus it's got jessie j with her facial expressions and weird noises, so much better than cheryl/kelly/tulisa

even better than dannii and i actually liked dannii as a judge

Lyrics: make a beast of myself / twin atlantic

And when he knew for certain that only drowning men could see him he said all men will be sailors then until the sea can free them

i've come to the conclusion that no one and i mean no one should ever ever ever ever cover leonard cohen songs they just ruin them

Lyrics: suzanne / leonard cohen

And I swear it happened just like this a sigh a cry a hungry kiss

if i could write half as well as this man i would die a happy woman i seriously would his words are just perfect

Lyrics: closing time / leonard cohen

Oh I'm feeling older courage my love will make me bolder

Sosososo tired :( could happily go to sleep right this second if I had something to eat...ahhh and sherlock is on tonight, I forgot about that.

I also ordered a CD from play.com, Emmy the great's first album. Hope it arrives soon along with my copy of bonekickers...

Lyrics: razzle dazzle rose / camera obscura

I was only a baby now I am what you made me

John Mayer has such a beautiful voice, he really does...the song comfortable makes me feel like crying but in a good way. I love it when a song touches you like that, it's pure magic. It's the lyrics and the voice and the idea, I guess, that makes song like that.

Video games by lana del rey has the same thing for me because there's clearly some kind of story behind it, you can tell by her voice and the lyrics etc, music is just so powerful and I forgot that haha, but now I've remembered and I'm probably becoming a litttttle obsessed w/ music right now

Lyrics: we almost had a baby / Emmy the great

He holds me in his big arms drunk and I am seeing stars this is all I think of

Can't stop sneezing and all I can hear in my head is video games by lana del rey, maybe I should just go to sleep

Lyrics: video games / lana del rey