I'm greater than x and lesser than y so why is it that I still can't catch your eye you're a cryptic crossword a song I've never heard while I sit here drawing circles I'm afraid of being hurt

i've just painted my nails this nice metallic grey colour..it's darker than silver it's like i don't even know what colour it is lol but it's nice so far this year i've upheld my promise to have my nails a different colour every week i think i'm using a metallic green next week or maybe a dark purple..oh the choices

Lyrics: academia / sia

And don't get me wrong dear in general I'm doing quite fine it's just when it's summer in the city and you're so long gone from the city I start to miss you baby sometimes

"You and your friends don't know shit about women. Why talk to them like that? When you can see they don't like it? If I want to look beautiful, I do it for me. When I wear this I feel part of a faith, an identity. I feel good. That's what beauty is. Tell that to your friends. Then maybe one day, they might even get laid."  - paris je t'aime, ve arrondissement

Lyrics: summer in the city / regina spektor

You got a fast car and I want a ticket to anywhere maybe we can make a deal maybe together we can get somewhere anyplace is better starting from zero got nothing to lose maybe we'll make something but me myself I got nothing to prove

like i don't understand the process that leads to people thinking that they're so hideous that they cannot look at themselves in the mirror without feeling like crying?

maybe (and it probably is) just personality difference here but i don't let things like that get in my way of being happy. i mean people have said some shit things about me before, things that i quickly got used to. i've been told i'm too fat, too ugly, too manly, too tall, too geeky, too weird, too clever. i've been told my skin is bad (like i needed telling) and my eyebrows need waxing (again, like i don't own a fucking mirror). i've also been told that the way i wear my hair makes me look like a lesbian..like a lesbian is a bad thing to be anyway.

but i've never let it get to me because i don't necessarily agree with it..not wanting to sound like a cow but whilst i'm a little overweight i'm definitely not fat and i'll never agree that i am; i'm certainly not ugly even if i'm not scarlett johansson, i don't require a paper bag to go out in public; i can look a little manly on occasion but, hey, my boobs are definitely big enough to end any confusion; i'm average height and actually wish i was a bit taller; and i plead guilty to geeky/clever because that's not a bad thing to be either.

the fact is, when i look in the mirror i don't recoil in horror because i don't let what these people say to me get to me. i'm a big enough person to acknowledge my failings but i can also acknowledge my good points. modesty is fantastic - no one likes a boaster after all - but if i've got it i might as well flaunt it.

i mean, i'm not gorgeous. i'm pretty average. but i like myself and i think that's something to be proud of if i'm honest because so many women just aren't these days and it's horrible to think about. it just makes me sad that girls take these things to heart and take it so seriously when in actual fact the people that say these things don't matter in your life and therefore what they think shouldn't matter..i know it's easy to say and trust me i have been upset by the things that people say more than you know but all it did was confirm my belief that the way to carry on is say fuck you, accept your flaws, accept your strengths, and be who you want to be

meanwhile i'm off to eat a kitkat because life is too short to diet and that's what i honestly believe

Lyrics: fast car / tracy chapman