Because the joke you laid on the bed, that was me, and I'm not going to fade as soon as you close your eyes and you know it

a policeman just came around to warn us about this guy that's been banned from campus and might steal our food..not really sure how to react to this haha

Lyrics: you oughta know / alanis morissette

When I'm down, and my hands are tied, I cannot reach a pen for me to draw the line; from this pain I just can't disguise, it's gonna hurt but I'll have to say goodbye

right now i couldn't give less of a shit about my weight, this is the conclusion i have come to i am pretty happy with my body so what does anyone else matter? seriously society shouldn't be able to dictate i should look more like a victoria's secret model, it's never going to happen..partly because i'm not built like that, i've always been chubby, and secondly, i lack the drive to get up off my arse and do something about it

i just really object to people saying that we NEED to have a healthy diet and exercise because i have never ever enjoyed exercise or sports and i'm too picky to have a completely balanced diet. i have never ever made excuses about my weight because i accept that it's largely my fault because i don't exercise and eat healthy but i figure that there are so many things that people do everyday that aren't good for them but no one tells them to stop that

at the end of the day, eating food and lounging around everyday makes me happy so why should i change that because someone on the telly says the olympics should have inspired me to start playing tennis or whatever? STOP IT i mean seriously i feel like the entertainment industry should stop telling people how to live their lives, even if it's just stopping gossip magazines from calling stick thin girls fat because they have a tiny tummy or criticising celebrities for not dropping the baby weight as soon as they give birth, or if it's tv cooking shows making sure that we're cooking with semi-skimmed milk and don't you DARE put butter on that sandwich..

it's just so stupid and annoying, if i want to be a size 16 that's my business it's nothing to do with anyone else at all

Lyrics: dreaming of you / the coral

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means to be a joke and look another line without a hook I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look

i actually hate the film troy.

it's representation of the trojan war is all wrong, it's just completely and utterly wrong. and it really pisses me off when people use it as a reference point and do things like say they're 'quoting homer' for example, "Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again."

this is not a quote from the original poem. there is no quote like this in the original poem. it just pisses me off because people think they're being clever, quoting homer, but they're not.

they're quoting brad pitt.

Lyrics: i'm not okay (i promise) / my chemical romance

But that's how it's got to be it's coming down to nothing more than apathy I'd rather run the other way than stay and see the smoke and who's still standing when it clears

is it bad that watching car crashes on jeremy kyle makes me feel better about myself as a person? i mean, i'm a virgin with laughable experience with boys but that's not such a bad thing when you look at these girls having DNA tests on their 7 children with 12 potential fathers who hate their mothers and may have had chlamydia at some point in their lives..at least i'm happy

Lyrics: over my head (cable car) / the fray

Shiny floor slippery feet lights are dim my eyes can't meet the reflection that turns my images upside down so I can't see think you know everything you really don't know nothing I wish that you were more intelligent so you could see that what you are doing is so shitty to me

why would your wear your mother's wedding dress to a party? why? i don't get some people there's being fun and quirky and then there's wearing your mother's wedding dress

Lyrics: dickhead / kate nash

I'm in too deep probably then again how could I be one two she just cut through three for what an uproar five six she pulls me out and throws me to the wind

i think that the bingo adverts at the start of jeremy kyle are a bit odd i mean the point is 'cheeky bingo' so these women are being cheeky but there's not really much cheeky about 'so you're saying he reversed into you?' that implies that this woman crashed her car into a man's which isn't cheeky, it's illegal

just an odd choice i think for a TV show broadcast at 9.25

Lyrics: she might she might / milow

A drink for the horror that I'm in for the good guys and the bad guys for the monsters that I've been three cheers for tyranny unapologetic apathy because there isn't no way that I'm coming back again

still off college and i'm really bored now i know i could do college work haha but i didn't feel so good when i got up this morning so i cba doing it i'm just going to sit here and write

atm i'm watching a bbc3 documentary on the summer riots..it's weird it's making me feel all shivery because i remember the riots so clearly i remember how they escalated and i remember watching the news and things getting worse and worse and then it hit home, and it was terrible, it made me so angry because they were just destroying everything stealing everything and there was no clear reason as to why

they can say all they like about getting their taxes back but seriously if you're so bothered about stuff like that why are you looting lidl? why are you stealing meal deals from tesco? there's no connection to anything

it just seems like it was yesterday but it wasn't, it was actually quite a while ago now and i just hope it never happens again it sickens me that people can be like that do things like that none of it made sense none of it, i get why the riots initially started but how the fuck did they end up spreading across the country?

it was stupidity anger and stupidity and a lot of lives were ruined

gah

Lyrics: sleep / my chemical romance

Well this is on the rise music this is novelty music this is who can blame music I don't get fooled by it this is where did you go music this is come home music this is down to the wire I'm such a perfect angel music

i know this girl who is all like DIEmainstreamDIE all the time like she's always going on and criticising certain bands for being 'too mainstream nowadays' and she basically hates anything that's popular whether it's books TV films etc. and she complains about high street shops and people thinking they're 'dead grunge' because they bought a nirvana t-shirt from h+m

but then i look at her photographs on fb and realise that a) i own a necklace she has and i bought it from h+m and b) my friend has the same nirvana t-shirt and guess what? it was bought from h+m

not to mention this girl works for topshop i mean seriously you don't get much more mainstream than topshop which is confusing in itself because most of the girls i know that work there are on some kind of 'IAMSOUNIQUE' mission when they're not unique at all they all look the same because they all work at topshop and enjoy the staff discount and they all look scruffy like they've just fallen out of bed and anything they have that looks vintage probably isn't vintage because

well because they enjoy staff discount at topshop and they don't buy anything that isn't from topshop

i would never claim to be unique, have my own style, or to hate mainstream because at the end of the day what's the point? if you have to argue how unique/yourself/anti-mainstream you are that probably means you're the least original person in the world

tbh it's the same thing when it comes to people claim things like 'i'm so bubbly' or 'i am crazy' or 'i'm just a bit mad' or 'i am sosososososo random' or 'omg i'm ugly and fat' or 'i say it like it is' or 'i'm not two-faced'

most of the time it's complete bullshit no one bothers acknowledging what they REALLY are

like i would acknowledge the following: i'm a weird, geeky, bitchy, bad-tempered, socially awkward, lazy know-it-all who is scared of too many things and only has like 1 genuine friend

it's NOT that hard to acknowledge things like that.

Lyrics: song away / hockey

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number I guess that I don't need that though now you're just somebody that I used to know

i have a friend who only seems to be able to communicate through bullshit

i don't believe a single word that comes out of her mouth anymore, she lies about everything..and some of it is just plain weird and awkward and why would you lie about it?

but the thing is whenever you believe something she has said she'll then tell someone else a different version of the same story and leaves you doubting what she said in the first place

i mean according to her yellowstone erupted last year and it was lucky because she climbed it two months before the eruption

turns out she's never been abroad

Lyrics: somebody that I used to know / gotye

One night to be confused one night to speed up truth we had a promise made four hands and then away

oh my god i'm watching don't tell the bride and he's on the verge of making a verrrrry good decision and i'm like DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!

will he though?

no, he won't because they never do on this programme

idiots

i would never ever ever ever go on this show unless my fiance had the exact same taste as me and therefore is me which would mean marrying myself

Lyrics: heartbeats / jose gonzalez

It was a lie when they smiled and said you won't feel a thing

Ahhh Jeremy Kyle on a Tuesday morning

At least I'm not them. That's all I have to say hahahaha

Lyrics: disenchanted / my chemical romance

You're such a sucker for a sweet talker

Do you ever think that some people are just plain stupid? I do, especially when they have the audacity to criticise others for behaving in the same way. Take this girl I know; she is always the first to have a go when she's decided you've done something stupid, but then behaves in a completely hypocritical manner. She has been with this lad for about 4 years and throughout the last 3 he has consistently cheated on her with various girls including friends of hers. This includes sending dodgy texts and Facebook messages to any girl he knows. She has turned a blind eye to all of this, refusing to acknowledge the truth and accusing the girls he has tried to sleep with (who then went and told everyone exactly what he was like) of being desperate, lying troublemakers.

Then, over Christmas, it came out that he had been sleeping with this girl for the last 6 months, and there was proof from loads of people; they broke up, but she's already gone back to him. And this isn't the first time, either, he left her for another girl for about 4 months.

But I can't help but pity her. Does she not realise that's what people think when they look at her? That she's putting up with a hell of a lot and not getting much in return? He treats her like shit, too, and we've all known about this cheating for ages...I just think that she is so, so stupid, and seems more and more desperate every time something like this happens. It's a self respect thing and clearly, she hasn't got any.

Hell, if I ever acted like her my mother would slap me. And I would let her.

Lyrics: cute without the 'e' (cut from the team) / taking back Sunday

I'm beautiful in my way because god makes no mistakes I'm on the right track baby I was born this way

the inbetweeners

this may sound strange but the inbetweeners make me feel so much better about being me? i mean i watch shows like skins but i don't identify with any of them, even though they're supposed to be my age and everything. but i can watch any episode of the inbetweeners and i just get it. it's so much more realistic and because of that it makes me feel that it's okay to be me because i am pretty strange, i'm a self-confessed geek who drinks too much tea and gets excited when there's a tv show on I like, and i talk to my cat and have strange conversations with my parents. plus i don't really do things like go out and get drunk, me and my friends actually stay in and play boardgames instead.

there's loads about me that other people find funny and i know that, so i stopped trying to impress them years ago, i'm just me right now but sometimes i feel like i should be someone else that actually fits in but when i watch the inbetweeners i know that i don't have to because it's all right. i know that when i'm older college won't matter anymore the people won't matter, that's how i already feel about high school and i only left there 2 years ago.

and i suppose that's what annoys me the most about people i go to college with, they don't seem to realise that at the end of the day i really don't care what they've got to say. i mean yesterday i was waking out of college with my friend T and this guy from my classics class looked at T and then said something to his friend and they both looked at her and laughed. and it made me angry because i thought, who are they to judge her by what she's wearing or whatever it is about her that makes them laugh? they don't even take the time to get to know her, and people are the same with me i have classes where people literally won't talk to me even if i speak to them, and i just think that's so childish and immature.

because they make a big deal about being 'adults now', they go out clubbing and drink and smoke weed and have one night stands and things like that but when it comes to interacting with people in an everyday situation at college they won't talk to anyone that they don't see as being on 'their' level, whereas someone like me who doesn't go clubbing or drink or smoke weed or have one night stands doesn't automatically judge someone based off appearance or how geeky they seem.

and personally, that makes me more mature than them and i would rather be me than a twat anyday, excuse my language. it's just that the vast majority of people at my college i feel like don't take the time to get to know anyone who they see as "cool". they laugh at me, and at my friends, because they've noticed something funny about us. something that's a bit weird. but do they not realise that we know how people percieve us? because we noticed it a long time ago...and we can't see any point in hiding it because it makes us us and if they can't see that it's their loss because we're nice people.

sorry about the rant but this is something that has been playing on my mind for a couple of days now haha. 

Lyrics: born this way / lady gaga

Louder than sirens louder than bells sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell

My brother's come over with his wife for tea, so I'm sat writing the next chapter of 'Star Rising' whilst watching Take Me Out on ITV. Confused by these women, what's so wrong with genuinely nice men?They turn their lights out for no reason: "I love my mother" *lights go out*

Ilisa shrinks when confronted by other Stellamicos. It was not my intention.

Lyrics: Drumming / Florence + The Machine